The week has sure gone by fast, it's already Thursday. Guess what tomorrow is...FRIDAY. I'm going home tomorrow, plan on going shopping for myself, and buy me a new pair of heels, and flats. Yay me! I'm excited for church this weekend, TNTT and Sunday School. Seriously, what better way to start and end the weekend with church activities! At the same time, I'm excited to see my ex... even if it's from a distance. I really do miss him. But I'm thinking positive, and moving forward. I've been thinking about my life a lot, and what i want to do, or plan on doing... I play these scenarios in my mind of all sorts of situations both good and bad. I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing... ha ha. I feel like aside from school, the only thing I'm lingering on is my relationship with him... I feel like I'm moving on but emotionally, I'm not.

I called my mom today, and she had asked me if I wanted to go to the stations of the cross with her at church, and I said sure. I remember when I was younger, I'd always dread attending mass. Heck, I remember those horrible days crying, and screaming. Gosh, I was a horrible kid. Growing up in a religious family has influenced in many ways, but meeting people like my ex whom share the same faith as I do, has helped me grown as a person. Right now, you could say that I am very open to the Catholic Faith. Although, at times I do find myself disagreeing with my denomination.

Aside from earning my degree, I've even considered studying aboard. Next year, my school is offering a study abroad program in Costa Rica. Both my roommate and I have taken this into consideration. The experience, different life, food, etc... sounds all too appealing, but the thought of leaving for a while does concern. Couple weeks ago, my roommate and I had a talk. She brought up the peace corps, and said that might be something she wants to do... I went home that weekend and looked it up, and found out that if you join peace corps you'd stay there for 2 years.. how scary is that! Well , I should of been writing my paper but i'll finish this blog later... till then, ta ta for now!

Just one of those days..

I just got pawned by my biology test, and I am so disappointed beyond words. Right now, I just feel bitter, and tired.I have no motivation to keep going, and I'm sitting here on my bed, moping about how life sucks at the moment. I went to the U yesterday, and As much as I enjoy the going to the  U, I despise it at the same time. It really brings back memories, and seeing couples strolling around, hand in hand, with one another causes me to become envious, and maybe a bit bitter. Listening to T-Swift. Thinking about too much. It's been 6 months, already. I still question what had happened the day he left me, or what truly was the reason... I hate myself for investing too much, and being the one left empty handed because at the end of the day, all i'm carrying is the heart filled with needles, and no matter how many days past by, or how many times I 'forget'... i'll never forget the hurt that he made me go through. I know, I'm unreasonable, and insensitive right now... but The pain of seeing the person I fell in love with walk right out the door, is unforgettable.

"Now that it's all said and done,

I can't believe you were the one

To build me up and tear me down,

Like an old abandoned house.

What you said when you left

Just left me cold and out of breath.

I fell too far, was in way too deep.

Guess I let you get the best of me."

Going With The Flow

Everyday just seems to play out the same... school, work, eat, sleep. The cycle ensues. I have my biology test, tomorrow, and to be honest, I don't feel that prepared. The weekend though was fun, but then Saturday and Sunday rolled around, and my morals definitely started talking to me. Actually, it hit me quite hard. To put it this way, I plan on walking the walk, and talking the talk. No more contradictions, and no more being 'rebellious' ( not that that I ever was). Saturday, Nani and I went to TG and sat there doing homework. We were exhausted! Lately, I've been quite boy deprived, and seeing Nani again was like 'HALLELUJAH' . Funny thing was, he looked even  cuter than he did before! Nothing happen, just the fact that he's cute. hehe. That day he helped me with my game for TNTT, I presented it to my youth group. I thought it went well. C. Teresa started exclaiming that not all of us will get our red scarves, and how when you do become a youth group leader. It's no longer about you, but about you being a role model, and taking on responsibility of what a leader is. It really got me thinking and I realized that I want to be a youth group leader so bad. I can not wait till the day, I have my red scarf. Probably will be the most proudest day of my life.

To continue, Sunday I got to teach. Teaching and just in general being with my kiddies is awesome. I am at church from 1030- 4:30pm every Sunday, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Others might think I'm crazy for being at church for so long... but it's like my second home, and I don't mind. The kids, are truly a joy. But this Sunday, one of the boys I teach named Jonathan had brought in these cool power ranger wrists bands thing. While on break, the boy behind him made fun of the band, and called them 'stupid'. Jonathan's feelings got hurt, and started crying... I was walking around and noticed him tearing up. I walked over, and asked if he was okay. He didn't respond, and I asked him what happened. He didn't respond. I took him out of the room, and we sat in the hallways talking, and he said, "It's embarrassing, I don't want to tell you...", I told him too, and he came around. He said that the boy behind him was making fun of him for still liking power rangers. I explained to him that everyone will have differences. Its okay, and to ignore him. We got up, and he gave me a hug as I walked him back into class. It's Sunday's like these that are worth every minute/hour of my time. Being able to  build relationships with my kids, and get to know them better as an individual is priceless. They are the reasons why I strive to be better, to be a better person for those around me.

So, to conclude. I want to be good, and better myself. But then again, everything that happens is all held in God's hands. I am just Going With The Flow :)

It's FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY!

This weekend was filled with adventures, and not too mention quite a few consequences. Here are some photos...

An overview of everything.

When I look around, and I see my friends finding there passion through music, art, math, etc...I begin to realize that my passion is to serve. Actually, I lied. I know that is what God wants me to do. Lately, I've been turning to God a lot. Everything is all in his hands, he has created a path for me, and all I need to do is walk down that path that he has intended.  There's not a day that  goes by where I take my life for granted, I am just too blessed. There are many times that I can recall where I thought 'I am weak, I can't handle this unjust life.'. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, when I got into a car accident and could have died, when I was getting sued and was taken to court, the list goes on... but everything turned out to be okay because he was there. I never thought religion would impact me as it did. I want to continue and grow within my faith. I want to better myself so that I can better myself for those around me. It worries me that I can not see what that one thing is I am meant to do.

I truly feel that children are whom I'm meant to work with. This sound pretty stupid, but I'm very good with children. When I'm out, babies would smile at me!!! I guess, the reason would be I'm still a kid at heart, and so, at times i feel I can relate. Every Sunday I dedicate my time with my 42 kids. At times they drive me CRAZY, and i want to go jump in a hole, but I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. My friends always complain as to why I don't stay at school often, but honestly, seeing my kids is probably the best way to end my weekend. I've built great relationships with the kids. One of the boys, last week asked if he could hug me. Of course, I hugged him, and afterclass  was over he hugged me again. They always know how to brighten my day with their warm smiles. The girls, even come talk to me about their problems, and it's weird but I do my best to help. I teach with 4 other assistant teachers, and in all of us, I am the one who holds authority when speaking to the kids. I am proud of the little accomplishments that I've accomplished at Sunday School.

Being at college, I've met some great friends, that I'm pretty sure, I will probably be friends with for a while. It's so refreshing to meet people who are more mature, and respectful. We've all had our days with one another, but when it comes down to it... when somethings wrong, or when we need a friend, I know I can rely on any of them. Living on campus, I've definitely got a feel of 'freedom'. Not always having someone tell me what to do feels good. I'm taking on my own responsibilities, and being my own person.  As great as things may be... I feel as though I'm growing apart from my family. I don't want to believe its true, I can feel it. I wish I could spend as much time at home with my family as I do at school. But I gotta do what i gotta do. I know, that my family understands.

Living the single life for these past few months has been alright. I find myself having more 'me' time. Dated here and there, fell for a guy whom I don't think I'd want to pursue a relationship with because I'm afraid of loosing him in general, and still dwelling over the ex... I've realized being single has it's pros and cons but I hate not having a man around ha ha. It was nice having someone to text and talk about your day with, or having someone there.... I just miss it. I guess. Maybe it's for the best that I put myself as a priority than something else.

THat's my life at the moment. Nothing too exciting, but it never hurts to share! Night!

Rambling about nothing, tonight

Life at the moment is pretty good. Although, school is a pain in the butt, gotta do this right! Work has been okay, kind of wanting another job... last week was our TNTT 25th anniversary. It was so much fun! Got to spend the whole day with Tofu, and it was really nice, and being able to see him the next day too. He even wore the shirt I made! (holla!) He's always got me smiling when I want to punch him in the face! Hmph! Ha ha.Gosh, silly boy. Well, it's a friend's birthday this weekend. I want to let loose, but then again the guy I'm going with is a my ex's friend so I gotta be good. According to the bible, and the roomie. Blah, I hate being so good. Damn it.

Ta ta for now!

Something I stumbled upon...

Cuteness.

What you see, isn't always what you get.

I feel that life is a journey filled with ups and downs, and at times we take our lives for granted. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. Therefore, we need to take advantage of what will happen today. I think at times we don't see the many blessings that God has given us. We tend to let our selfishness overcome who we are, and we ignore those who are truly suffering.

I look around me, and all I see is people focusing on themselves. But then again, I'm not claiming I'm perfect, and that I do not have these moments; because I do. I've mentioned before, and  i will mention again, my purpose in life is to better myself, so that I can become better for those around me. I hate how people complain about how terrible this and that is. Because when you focus too much on yourself, you forget about those around you... and what they could be going through.  It's sad.

Take minute, and forget about you. Go find a friend, or call up a family member to see what is really going on with them... because what's on the surface is not always what you see...

This goes out to my roommate:

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

Sarah, you are a wonderful person. God, has blessed me with a best friend like you. For what ever happens, today, tomorrow, or ten years from now...know that any obstacles that you have to endure, you'll always be remembered for the special person you are. I love you, ass crack.

Night for now.

If only I could let go..

It's been raining all day,and how it is effecting me. I'm the type of person who's mood depends on the weather. When there's sunshine, my day is filled with all this happiness (or vitamin D), and when it's raining, and gloomy boy, is it dreadful. The weather has been weird, lately. Just yesterday I remember it was warm and sunny, and then last night it just happened to pour. Blah. 

Last night, I had a dream where I was being killed. Before, I use to think that it was a scary dream that happens every now and then. But I've actually been having these dream consistently. Not just last night. And so, I said to myself that'd I'd take a look at what being killed in a dream could mean... I then stumbled upon this:

"To dream that you are murdered, suggests that some important and significant relationship has been severed. You are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions. The dream may also be about your unused talents. "

"To dream that you have been killed, suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions and conscience. The dream refers to drastic changes that you are trying to make. There is a characteristic that you want to get rid of or a habit that you want to end within yourself. Killing represents the killing off of the old parts and old habits. Alternatively, the dream represents feelings of being let down or betrayed by someone in your waking life. You are feeling overwhelmed, shocked and disappointed."

After reading this, I realize that it is all so true. I am too connected with my emotions, and its effecting me in numerous ways. Physically, and mentally. I don't know what to do. I am so lost within my own emotions that I have no idea if what I'm doing is right or wrong. I miss and love him so much.... 

"Leave Thieu Nhi, Live Thieu Nhi!"

Today was our youth group's 25th anniversary. We celebrated with songs, prayers, food, fun, and GOD!
Gosh, I was definitely living in the moment today.

I joined TNTT last September, and it's been 7 months since then. Within those 7 months, I can honestly say that TNTT has already made great impact on who I am. Today, just confirmed everything I hoped and ever wanted. Growing up I'd despise going to church, always seeing these kids with colored scarfs.I never thought that'd till this day I would be apart of such a great organization like TNTT.Today made me realize how badly I wanted to earn my red scarf and become a huyhn truong. I want to serve others, I want to dedicated myself to God, and become a better Catholic, so that those around me can see what faith can do. I want to be a witness, I want to preach, and live the life of God's words.And so, I turn to Faith. Faith has always been apart of life, the older I got, I turned to faith to guide me through this life.That's where I build my morals, beliefs, and value. The people that I've met in my youth group are all so admirable in there own significant way, yet a like in some. I've met HT's who I have seen go through so much, through all their hardships to help us grow in our faith. I aspire to be like them, and that shall be my goal. To help,serve, live, the words of god. I want to better myself for those around me even if it means walking the extra miles.

I am so blessed to have been able to experience today spending with my youth group. Everyone worked so hard, and has done so much for our parish.


I want to live to serve, and will serve to live.

Just not feeling it, tonight..

Not feeling so good, don't know what to say... ending the night quoting a good Christian song... 

"You are more than the choices that you've made, 

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade. "

My kids

Spring break is over! A week, of doing nothing was worth it. Not really. Spent the first few days at home with my grandma, went to Ash Wednesday mass,went to go see beastly, worked on youth group abortions till forever, my cousins came over from SD,and ending the weekend with TNTT!

I remember the first day of TNTT, and how nervous I was. Wearing my uniform, feeling as if I was starting the first day of school again. It was nice coming in knowing quite a few people, not to mention teaching some of the kids. I believe that TNTT will become a great part of my life. I already feel it now. Saturday was the happiest days of my life. Why? Well, I finished the shirts, got to see some friends, and the KIDS!!! I love my students, and I love the younger kids. We got to play games with the younger group of kids, and it was so fun! I def felt like a kid all over again. After adoration, majority of the kids who walked out all knew me, and waved and smiled- gosh, i love them so much!! Making me feel quite popular. It sounds sort of cocky but I am good with kids. I know it, and I think the relationships that I hold with some of them are very special, and I am very honored to have these kids look up to me. Like they say, "To be an example you must set an example." And thats what I strive to do, everyday.  This Saturday, is our youth groups' 25th anniversary, and i am so excited! I've been told that many people come to this event, and gosh I am pumped! Whoot!

To some, it might be kind of creepy how much I love my kids, but to others who know me, and have seen me in action can def understand. I'm a different person, and the feeling I get when helping these children is indescribable, I am just so blessed. I really am!

I will post another blog, tonight! Ta ta for now!! :)

Memories that seem to never fade

Well, it's day two of giving up facebook. So far I want to die. Boy do I feel like an outcast from life! Ha.For the past couple years,  I'd always pick something easy that'd I'd give up, and now... I want to give up something that I truly feel I want to sacrifice- Facebook. I hate to say it, but I'm very addicted. Last night was very hard handing over my password, and then knowing I can't log on anymore. I feel quite pathetic. But at the same time I am really proud of myself  hehe. I went to mass last night, for ash wednesday. I saw him, and at the end of mass, his mom met my mom. ( awkward). To avoid the awkwardness I had walked away, and I noticed he did the same.  I turned around and saw him walking alone... deep down I wanted to run to him, say hello, but it's not that easy. His mom mentioned that the reason why we have not seen much of each other was 'school'- yeah okay. I went to go watch Beastly, and I love it! Kind of made me think about me...

I remember growing up, I'd imagine myself with this good looking guy I'd be dating. How important looks were to me, and yet, I feel for a guy whom I loved for his personality - not looks. The movie, in a way I could see myself as Lindy. Some of the scenes definitely brought back many memories of which Tim and I had. I remember, on the night I went to see Quiet Drive with some friends @ the Varsity Theatre. To be honest, the place was not for me. I didn't like it at all. Not to mention the bathrooms were YUCK! Tim had called me, ( I was mad at him for something stupid) he called me and he said that'd he wanted to see me because some things had happened at home. I wanted to see him too. I told him where I was, and he went to get me. We grabbed dinner, and talked. We sat at the table as he held my hand, and told me all his problems. Oddly, I felt so at ease knowing he was there, and that I could be there with him. i could see all the pain he was going through at home. After dinner, he drove me home, and spontaneously we stopped at the park by my house. Parked the car, and took a stroll around the park in the winter. (YES it was freezing). As he held me we sang the L-O-V-E song, he told me how much he loved me, as we swayed back and fourth. I remember it was the warmest nights of my life, despite all the snow. Okay, well this wasn't in the movie... but hey! I can reminisce!! I guess, what I'm trying to say is, I miss him a lot. his tender touch, his encouraging words, and him being my human gps. ha I do have hope though, that'd maybe in the future we'd be together again. Who knows?

I've re-read some of blogs, and wow, I am very hypocritical when it comes to how i feel about my ex. So everyone who is reading this... sorry I get kinda emo. Spring Break has definitely made me think a lot. Too much actually. As of now, I'm going with the flow with my emotions, and him.

Bye byeee

I'll be back...

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you,"

I've officially given up fb. No more, till after Easter. I decided to log into Fb one last time before I say good bye, only to find out the one girl whom I was no longer friends with had made remarks about me... saying 'you aren't a bad person, but you aren't as good as you think you are' -that hurts. I will say, that I am no victim and. I am at fault, and I will admit it. I am not afraid to accept that I am wrong. Whether she feels that she has not done anything wrong, then so be it. I will not lower myself, and play high schools games to prove that I am right. Say the words that you dare to say, in the end, I know where I stand, and I will not back down on the decisions that i've made. I can tell you this... I am human,I am bound to make mistakes. I am not here to please you, nor am I here to please anyone in particular. I was given this life, to make mistakes so that I can learn from them. My imperfections is what keeps me sane. Whether you feel I was at fault, or that I did not think about my consequences, i can surely tell you, that I did think everything over, and till this day... I have no regrets for what and where things have come too. I will not lower myself, and sloop to your level. For I am worth so much more than you think.

I do not hate you, but I am not please with your actions. It's time to grow up, and be the woman you are set out to be. You are strong, and you will get over it. With time, and your friends, you will be fine. Good luck to you.

A light at the end of the tunnel...

I've been trying to help myself get better with my emotions. Being alone all the time isn't helping... I went on this website for break up tips as lame as that sounds... and I got this...

Let go. Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache, regret, and hatred toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways. You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out this time, there will be a next time. Try not to think about them, Don't let anger get the best of you.


I know, I need to let go. There are no benefits in holding onto this heartache. I have no right to 'hate' the person whom feelings has changed for me... despite the fact that it hurts. I gave love, a chance. I am proud of who I am, and I will not let heartbreak conquer who I am. Even though there will be days, where i want to cry, or even feel like dying. I will cry, and stand with pride. Because I know I am worth so much more, than I deserve. 


To him:


If you ever stumble across or even read this blog.... 


I want you to know, that the day I met you. Was the best things thatt hashappened to me. Even though, you left leaving me empty handed you are still the genuine guy that I first met, and nothing will change that. You have so much going for you, and you are an amazing person. Everything that we've been through, I wouldn't have changed a single thing. You brought me joy, love, and so much more than I deserve. I was very lucky to have you. i don't think I'll ever forget you... i love you, and i always will. 

I hate you.

"See how I leave, with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do.
There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark
The scars of your love, remind me of us.
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling...we could have had it all"

With spring break here, I just have so much free time to think;about him,

I reminisce about everything. about US. I catch myself crying, being sad at random moments. Because deep down, the feeling of loving someone whom doesn't love you is def the hardest to handle. Imagining so much together, put everything on the table, giving that relationship 100 percent of all I am. To in the end, be the one who was left. I once told my roommate, " If Tim had ever left me , I'd be fine". Look what happened. I wish I never had met him.I wish these feelings would go to hell! I hate him for what he's done to me, and to leave me hanging with all this pain, while he's moving on with his perfect life! The anger I feel, the life I'm living is hell. I'm not who I use to be. I am such a selfish person right now. I know. but I sick of this life. Just so sick of this thing we called "Love'. It can all go to hell. 

Fuckin' hate love. Screw you, screw you him.

Spring Break!

Spring Break is here! Surprisingly, I'm not all too excited, just cause I don't know what I will be doing with my free time... any who, started my day taking two exams, which I don't think I did so well. Blah! Then worked for the rest of the day.

So, i was thinking about my job at the cafe...and how it requires so much manual labor (kinda), and at times I catch myself thinking maybe I should quit, and find me a receptionist job, or ya know, a job where I can look good in. Instead of getting coffee splashed in my face, not to mentions making a bottle takes tedious time, and a big clean up after. Oh and my pet peeve! Demanding, and rude people. I mean, I know I come into work, with baggy clothing, hair looking like a mess, no makeup, but today, i actually felt like a 'worker'. I strolled a cart up to the dining hall, feeling like crap (pms speaking), with garbage. i noticed a group of kids, as I strolled past them I felt a sense of humility. kind of like, if someone asked you," What do you do for a living?" and you say, "I'm a janitor." like, you sort of feel ashamed... nothing against janitors of course. I'm very thankful for what they do! ACtually, my heart goes out to them! But as I passed them, i felt I was being judged. For those living the good life, parents be giving you the money to spend, while you sit back and relax... you guys are missing out. Missing out, because you'll never learn what the meaning of hard work really is. Ever since I've worked for Sodexo I can say, I've become so much more humble. I got of sense of what my parents go through every single day for me. i deal with all sorts of people...but the most important thing I've learned is to be respectful. I feel like with today's society we forget the magics words: Please and thank You. Being polite is not an option, but a way of life ( or so I feel). If you want people to respect you, you've got to learn to respect others.

Went home, spent some time with my brother and his friends was fun! I always laugh, and make convos revolve around me hehehe. My roomie called, which was nice. Good to hear her voice again. We just babbled about nothing in particular -typical. Sometimes I feel like I dont look at her as my BFF but like a sister. I'm glad we've become really close. It's nice to know you know that someone is always there for you despite the distance. It sounds corny, but I like the fact that my bed is right underneath of hers, it makes me feel safe when I'm not with my family.

It's getting late, and my gna is snoring really loud... great.

Goodnight world!!!!

Blog post for now..

I think I know why I've been acting out. I think it's the fact that I'll my friends are going home again, and I won't get to see them until we come back... and break is here. I think it's such a selfish act, but I can't help it. I feel like every single time that they go home, it just means it's a another goodbye for now... and I hate good byes. Imagine when summer rolls around! What am I suppose to do without them?  Oh dear lord. I couldn't sleep last night, I don't know why. I have two exams tmr, too. Blah! The weather is crappy already, and thursday suck.
Blog post for now.. since I got out half an hour early for bio! yay!

Venting my thoughts away....

Typically, I try to blog only once a day, but I am blogging twice! Yippee...I am breaking out, and really crabby at the moment. Pms? Let's hope that's the answer. This song has been playing non- stop, and as beautiful as it may be it makes me question everything about life. What is the meaning, what is the purpose of this life that God has given us? To re create? It's weird how good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. It makes me wonder if God is really is really being fair... ya know? Every time I hear the song, it gets to me every single time...


"What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone"  

Every time I hear the chorus, I think why would people say things they didn't mean... is it that hard to be honest. I guess that's where people don't like me, i'm blunt. I keep it real. I don't sugarcoat. I say what i have to say. ALthough, if you aren't my friend then I could care less... really. 

I don't know why I'm so crabby, or why I'm tweaking at everyone. I do apologize. The only thing that really calms me down is music. I'm not much of a singer, nor am I that great at piano... but when it comes to listening to music- it's a def escape from reality. Lately, I haven't been thinking about much other than my surroundings. School is school, and i get bored of it. Where is the motivation... Work is work... nothing new.

I mean, I have a great family. I know that my friends are always here when I need them,but i feel like im missing something. A man? ha ha. I need to fill this void that I'm feeling inside. It's driving me nuts.

Today, my friend had asked me to be her confirmation sponsor, and I almost cried. I can honestly say that I am honored. To have a person who confides in me that much really means a lot. I feel like that the members of my church are realizing how I am really growing in my faith. Heck, I didn't think I'd be like this... but to know that they are seeing a transformation in the woman I'm becoming, is an accomplishment to me. I don't ask them to acknowledge how great of a person I'm becoming, but I would like it if they acknowledge the fact that I am trying to get a better understanding of my faith.

When I think of 'friendship' I'd have to say that it takes two to create that relationship. Not one. There needs to be communication, and understanding of one another... or else conflict is involved. At the same time, along the road we meet different people, things change. It's up to you and that person to really figure out if you're willing to cont that relationship, but if it's unhealthy I don't see why you should maintain it. When it comes to being a friend, I'd say I know how to be a great friend, but I don't know if I could ever take credit as to if I am one. When someone needs me, I will be there. i will walk that extra mile for the person I care for. hell, if you need my heart to survive I'd give it to them in a heart beat. I forgive, but it's hard for me to forget. Don't push my buttons, because when I leave the chance of me coming back is slim. Sorry.

Ugh.

Note to the man upstairs:
Dear God,
i don't think it's fair that bad things happen to good people.
i don't understand why you do the things you do.
Do you not see how people are suffering...
please God, just let them live there life.
Give them hope, be by there side.
Amen.

I found this song on youtube called, "More than words". This song is sung by Chris Medina whom dedicated this song to his wife after she became paralyzed.The music video was so touching, yet so beautiful. Every line, every verse, and the chorus all had a beautiful meaning. Lately, I've been dwelling on my ex, a lot and after watching this, I believe that I'll find someone. I'm not going to say that I'll be okay every day, but I do believe that I'll meet someone whom will love me for me, and I can wait till that day comes :).

I do have my mind on someone. He's great, as great gets maybe better. I actually met him this year, and now we are good pals ( even though I hate it) Its weird how i can talk to him so easily. He's the one person I confide in the most, the one who knows what to say at the right time. Just about everything. How badly i wish we could be more than friends, because I really feel things will work. Only time will tell, because i love talking to him. I really love talking to him.

If only he knew...