The Future

Lately, I find myself pondering of my future... and how right now the anticipation killing me. Call me crazy... but I can't wait till I get married to my spouse, and have kids, and most importantly becoming a mother. (cliche? I think so.)But reality is, I am no where near that point of my life! Hey, I can dream. Any who, yesterday I was getting ready for youth group, and my phone rang... it was DSW calling for an interview. I was so stoked! I was dancing like a mad woman! Oh, not to mention, I went to the dollar store to get m mom a card, and the cashier guy complimented my eyes. haha... Which put me in a really good mood, for TNTT. Every weekend, I get to attend TNTT, and I can say whether boring or fun I always walk away with something that I've learned. Yesterday, was special for me... Father Nhuan had a talk with all the Cap 2 kids, and I am so excited for them all to be HT's. As for me and Toan, we will be going to level 1 training... this August. So nervous! But at least he's there with me. That boy, means so much to me. Words can't describe how blessed I am to have him in my life. I remember he had the chance to sit with my class last year, and how i thought otherwise of him... never even once, did i find him attractive... till this year, he ended up teaching with me, and one thing led to another I developed these feelings for him. In some ways, he shares common characteristics as my ex, and the weird-er thing is that they both are becoming good friends. -___-". He's probably that one person, who knows so much about me. He's the only one who can see me sad, when those around me can't tell a thing. When we are out, he's always calling me or texting me to let me know where he is, or making sure I have a ride. Everyone thinks he and I should date. But there are so many pros and cons to everything. I am still loving my ex, and I am not over him. Toan is one of my best guy pals, and right now, I don't think anything can happen... besides, the relationship we have right now is so special already. If it got ruined I would never let myself live it down. Who know what the future holds. I saw my ex yesterday, and during the meeting as he and Chi Lisa went over the camp schedule for camp, I am just proud of him. So proud of him, the encouraging words, and he's thoughts and everything. We sat near each other, and tofu had to sit next to him too... therefore, I couldn't help but look his way. Then we brought up the topic of health, and someone said something about a knife... and he said, we would need it to open up something something, and who laughs ? Just him and I... -____-" lol. When the meeting was over, we had to put away chairs, and I had noticed he was trying to carry four, but it had looked like they were going to slipp out of his hands and so, I went and helped him. Hey, I was helping him out. The meeting went super well, and got me pumped for what the future holds for me as a HT. :D

Today, Father Hilary is leaving our parish. Of all the Father's that we have had, I can say that he is def my fav of all! I've never sseen someone so dedicated to what they do, and always putting the well being of others before himself. I admire him so much, and I hope that wherever he is in the future, may god bless him. It's a bittersweet goodbye... really. I walked into church, and sat there all by myself. It had appeared that someone was in the confession room, I don't know why... but I was curious as to who it was... as I sat there waiting the person who comes out is my ex. And it literally, startled me. haha, I hope he didn't see that.. haha He was wearing my plaid I bought him, along with his express cardigan that so did not match well. Just FYI. Driving home, my gma mentioned how his mom is always asking why we aren't together anymore, and how she will do whatever it takes to make me her daughter hahahahah. oh gezz. Along side her, her friend whom is also my mom's friend wants to do the same thing!! As flattered as I am... there's nothing I can do. Everything is all in GOd's hands. But it made me realized how much I had missed her. Thinh always told me he was a mommy's boy, and he really is. But his mom has been through so much, and I myself have seen it. Like I say, everyone has a cross that they are carrying, all we can do is pray for a stronger back. Even though he and I are not together... there's not a week I don't go without praying for him and his family. I just hope everything is okay, and that they are doing better. They will always be in my prayers.

Well, that's life at the moment...ta ta for now.