Dreams

When I reflect on the person that I am or hoping to become... I realize that I've changed quite a bit. I'd like to think that change is for the better, and that I'm becoming something worthy. Some may perceive me to be this strong, narcissistic girl... but deep down, I am a girl with many flaws and a low self esteem. I put on this front that I am strong, and "words can't hurt me" but when it comes down to it... I'm as sensitive/ overly emotional as it gets. Throughout my life, I've had many family members and friends who have looked down on me. My cousin once said, " You'd be lucky if you got into community college", and I was only in the eigth grade. With my parents constant bickering, that I should be a doctor, or always comparing me to my cousins, never helped. I never felt that I was good enough to be anything. College rolled around, and i started to actually live my life- myself. I came to terms that sometimes what I want or myself, isn't what God wants for me. I'm not good at math, nor am I that amazing at science. With time, I felt that my calling was to become a teacher. I became so determined that I found my career. The one I loved, and wanted. I kept this vision in my head, until people started to doubt what I wanted. It really killed me... not to feel supported but instead second guessing something I love. My aunt called to tell me how she thought I was wasting my money to pursue a career that will make nothing of myself, or in other words it's the "easy" way out. My heart literally died. I want to think what I am doing is something commendable that most people can't seem to do- follow their dreams. But gosh, to hear that was rough. I cried, and moped.... I'm a bit worried, but I'll figure something out. I hope.

Tomorrow, I go in for orientation at Perspectives. I am excited, and nervous. I hope to make some friends?? The interview went great, and I'm pretty sure, I wooed the interviewer lady. But let's see how this goes... who knows.

So many events coming up for TNTT that I am super excited! I seriously can not wait.

Well. That's life at the moment for me.