Rambling!!

It's been so long since I've blogged, gosh. I don't where to start or where to end. So here goes me rambling...

A few weeks ago, actually maybe last week... my family and I had gotten into an argument. We didn't speak, nothing. I was on the verge of leaving the house, and being on my own. I take the blame, it was my fault. I think when it comes down to it... i really don't show my rents any appreciation. I love my family, don't get me wrong. I just hate the fact that they are overly protective and not to mention their rules are very unreasonable at times. If only, i didn't spazz out so soon, and talked my way with them without yelling maybe things would have gone better... Things are better now. We breifly talked, I've been doing my best to stay a good girl at home cleanings, washing the dishes after they are done eating. I owe my rents a lot. And i feel like i've just been putting them through hell... *sigh* I'm going to do my best. Ask god for some guidance.. and better myself. http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=4576739489094127707

There's so many things going on that I am so far behind on... gosh. I've been praying a lot so God can give me strength to face all that's going on.. and I am doing my best. It's just stressful.

I've had a lot of problems... but my emotions are off the roof. A month ago, I talked to my best friend, Sarah. Our convo went from laughter to me breaking down, and hyperventilating like none other. I've decided to go seek help. So this fall, I plan on going to see a counselor. I feel like a part of me.. I'm so caught up in my emotions. It's so hard... some days I wake up feeling like shit.I act differently, and push others away. I don't know.. I feel like i can't control myself. The thoughts that i have... the things i think about are not okay. I'm just not emotionally stable. I need help. As hard as it is... I'm going to seek it. I over think too...

Camp ended a few weeks ago. IT was amazing. Despite all the huge ass bugs, the heat, and the bathrooms... I had an amazing time. The time I was there, I learned so much. As a youth group leader, your responsible for many things. There was never a time where I didn't recall not doing anything. We got there friday and went home sunday afternoon. The whole weekend, I was peeling like none other! So embarrassing. I have to say our youth group kicks butt! We are an amazing doan. I am so proud and hold so much pride in our parish! Our leaders, are great! Our kids are awesome! And as one body in christ we can do anything! Which was our themes, "we are one body". I met some awesome youth group leaders, that i aspire to be one day. It's so nice. Now we are on break till sept. which means no TNTT till sept! Wah....

July is quickly coming to an end.
-First week of August- Marian Days, MO
-Second week- Cap 1, Kansas, and my birthday
-Third week- School, and HT camp...
soo many things going on!

I'm going to start fasting every Wednesday.Why? Well, Jesus had fast for 40 days, and Wednesday was the first night before he started fasting/was in the desert. To think, that a man did not eat to sacrifice his life for the sake of children is truly admirable. Who are we to complain? My friend who has done it for a few months now, told me this... " Each week i fast for someone i love or care about" and that is so sweet. But at the same time, it builds character and patience. IT gives you and idea with what God has been through. He even brought up that Thinh had even fast for me.. somewhere along those lines I think the feelings are still there... who knows.

I finally had the chance to talk to my roommate last night. Although it was brief, it was so nice. She is truly my best friend. I don't know how blessed i am... she has helped me through so much, and i cna't thank her enough. Its so weird, how even though she has no idea what has been going on... she still manages to make me feel muhos better. Ahh i miss her...