Thoughts from an exhausting day

I remember, sitting in the kitchen while my cousin, John sat there with me. I was doing math, and was frustrated with the problem I stumbled across. Like any other, I asked him for help. Let me tell you something... there are smart people who can teach others and there are smart people who can't teach at all ( i think this applies to certain teachers) any whom he could not get me to understand what I was learning, and he said, 'you're so stupid, if you're lucky you'd make it into community college". I was in the 9th grade, the most confusing time of a teenagers life, trying to fit in, entering the teens, and discovering the person you are. I'm in college now, and till this day, I still remember his words, as if they were tattooed to my heart. Currently in college,  I'm riding on a scholarship, paying less than 4 grand per semester. I think that's some accomplishment? My point being is that after all he has said, I want to prove him WRONG. My relatives probably don't think i'm capable of anything, and sadly I wont let them see me fail.

 Aside, from that nostalgic memory... I've been thinking about what I want to major in. Religion has been such a huge part of my life, that I want to incorporate in my career as well. Whether minoring, or majoring. I use to think the medical field was where i was meant to be, but then I reflect and reevaluate why I am really choosing to become a doctor. As much as I find it rewarding saving lives, is it something i am truly passionate about? OR am I doing it for the social status? Or both? Then there's education. I love children, and in general kids. I feel that I've been blessed with the gift of teaching. Every Sunday, I teach 42 kids. Ages 8-10, all unique in there own way, they brighten my cloudy days, and fill them with love. I'm always getting asked, 'why do you love children so much' by my friends, and peers... and to be honest, I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm a girl, and i just have the maternal instincts (lol) truth is... I believe children are our future. If you raise a child, and know how to teach and give that unconditional love to that child, you'll see how great they can turn out to be. I look at each at my student all differently. The ones that are good, are very good. The ones who don't do anything, always catch my attention the most. At times i get so frustrated with them, but they've taught me to become really patient. Kids, have a good heart. I just people would just see it. They have so much offer, and they just need you to acknowledge their existence. That's it. I want to do that, i want to be there for them.  I'm willing to walk 10 miles, or whatever it takes to make sure my kids are okay. But who knows where this life is going to take me... lets wait and see.

Another thought for tonight...

A friend whom I use to be real good friends with, am no longer friends anymore.I ended things. Maybe it should have never ended? Maybe it should have. I couldn't say... I'm probably wrong to say it but it doesn't matter. She's a great person, I'm sure she will do great things with her life,and whatever else. Maybe things won't work out now, maybe just need space. I have no problems keeping in touch with my HS friend, except that I'm in college now. This is a transition into a different life, and a new beginning, nothings the same anymore. Life is like that. Changes occur, and we have to accept them.Ever since college has started I've been so blessed to have met such great friends, build great relationships that I can't believe I even have with these people i call my friends. Till this day I wonder, how did I get so lucky? 

My roommate and I, get along very well.  she's my best friend. The first time i met her i didn't know what to think, she looked kinda mean through her fb page... and that made me worried. I've been bullied before, and I thought this girl would bully me too (LOL) , but all of what I've thought was wrong. I remember, we were sitting in a friend's room. Our friend had been going through some family problems, my roommate reached out to her, and said "Could I pray for you"? Right then, she prayed for her, and it touched my heart (corny huh?) but I knew then we'd get along fine. As the months continued, we had gotten really close, every problem, everything we relied on one another, and maintain a great bond. She's a very special person to me, and always will be. No matter how far away, i hope you know I will always be there. If you ever need me to come to VA - I'll charge it to my Credit Card, and go in debt - for you. The people I've met in college are all so unique in their own way. It's awesome. Don't worry, i did not forget,... Resa, Rachel, and Becky, you've all been awesome friends. You guys really know how to make this little girl smile. I can't thank you guys enough! I remember when I was in my room crying, after my  breakup you all were there to hold my hand. You guys have no idea how much you guys mean to me. Please don't forget. i know, I'm bitchy, sometimes very ignorant, and weird... but I'm not perfect. But what you guys have done for me I can never repay you back. So tonight, this blog is dedicated to all you guys. i love you, all!