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Here's to another year...

School has officially started, and to be honest, I am so glad to be back. It feels weird to be living with more people, and not to mention its feels like an actual home... but so far, I really enjoy it.

Classes started last thursday, and everything has gone pretty smoothly, no complaints here...

Me and the boy, have been doing well. I guess we are 'dating', and dating your best friend is definitely way different. You go from best friends, and you dive deeper into a more intimate level (I'm not talking about physically, ppl) I'm talking about emotionally and mentally. When we talk, what would have been three hours, felt like one. It's weird, but I'm open to all the possibilities God has in stored for us.

There seems to be so many things that will need to be done, aside from school. School, Youth group, Sunday school... I really hope I can pull all this off..I'm really happy that our priest sees that I have potential and heart. I'm also a bit afraid, and stressed because this is another big responsibility i am taking on. For myself. I just hope that I will be able to teach/preach something worthy of learning for the kids. As of now, nothing has been said about where or what class i will be in charge of... but I have to be obedient and pray that Father Nhuan has good intentions for all of us.

My roommate and I are finally back together. Its been really nice... I'm not going to lie. I even sleep in her room. Ever since we've been back our convos don't seem to change at all. I love it. If anything, I see it growing much more then what it was before... others perceive us to be two very diff ppl. I agree, but on a personal level we are similar in various ways. It's been really nice... and feels normal again.,

Life at the moment, has been pretty content. I'm not sad, but at times I feel like I am always in my own world... thinking of ways and what God is calling me to do. It's weird to think that I am spiritually growing on so many levels, and I'm very happy. But sometimes, I find myself struggling to live my life the way God has intended for me.Its like I'm lost, but then again I'm gonna cont to pray for guidance.

Least when I expect it.

My birthday was definitely my favorite of any year! My friends made it so special, every single one... gosh, why am I so lucky??? No matter how many times, i asked not to get anything... they all bought me something it was so nice! Everyone made me feel so loved... and on top of that the one guy i've been crushing on for a while now told my friend he likes me!! What tha....

God really works miracles... right when I feel good about life, being able to move on from my ex and start doing stuff for myself... when my last priority of all things he reveals to me that the guy whom I have been talking too for so long now likes me. Yes, I am happy as a school girl -____-" haha. I can't believe it. AHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lets see where all this will go.... hehehe

All of this random-ness

I am back from Kansas. This weekend was pretty amazing. I learned so much, and can't wait to apply it to my own personal life, but also to bring what I have learned into TNTT. The first day, meeting my teammates everyone seemed fairly nice... the girls were bit annoying I'm not going to lie... I got along with the boys way better. The whole weekend, we had workshops, activities, games and slept for less then 5 hours- so we were all pretty exhausted. I was super crabby, but I kept myself together. As I was there I have to say I learned so much from all the workshops. I took at least one thing back, but my favorite workshop was the last one... it was about personal life, and TNTT. The mentor who had taught us the lesson, basically told us that we all have our own living diary - facebook. What we share, everyone had the chance of seeing... what goes on outside of TNTT, should be kept that and left outside of TNTT. Because we are role models for our kids, as a youth group leader. I took this to heart, I know kids are slowly all creating there own fb, and what they see on my page is important. So its super important for me to set an example for them...

As I was there, I met a whole bunch of great youth group leaders. One of them, who use to be an engineer, left his job to pursue a teaching degree... I thought to myself "WOW" thats awesome... I truly commend him for doing that. I started to think about myself, and why am I so afraid to pursue something I know I love??? Apart of me still doesn't know for sure, but now, I just want to give it a try... I feel like if this is what God is calling me to do then Im going to do it.

Tomorrow is my birthday, I'm the youngest out of the bunch... so everyone makes fun of me and calls me 12 haha i like! My friend asked me how I have been doing personally... and I told him I feel very content with my life now. And it feels right.Right now, all i want to do is have fun, work hard and continue serving others... my roommate brought up this year long christian program that she is considering to do... sort of like peace corp. I'm actually looking into it now. I want to take all the opportunities that life throws my way... no more being afraid of leaving the nest. I'm even considering studying abroad if I get the chance and will be able to make enough money. I want to visit Italia!! Go to all the beautiful churches and gahh *drools. Why not? My focus in life isn't about myself... it's more about what God wants me to do... so I'm going to confide in him because I know he has a plan.

BOYS: my fav subject. Not going to lie, guys at camp were pretty cute. One of my teammates whom was from Oklahoma, well we made a really good connection. It was nice! I'm going to miss him! And my fobby guy friends! I just get along better with guys then gals... i swear. For the time being, no guy is in my life other then my guy friends that I hold dear to my heart. I love em all so much!This whole weekend, I've been learning so much I didn't really have time to think about boys... one of my youth group leader said to me, " Kathy, your pretty... I honestly don't think you will have a problem" so i'm going to take her word for it! If he comes a long, i'll know...

A guy, who is also a youth group member of mine that I met over the weekend, I think is hitting on me... it makes me sad because I really looked up to him as a brother/mentor, and I don't like him like that... *sigh* it's flattering but really ruins the relationship I want to have... which is to maintain a friendship. -__-"
I also learned about relationships at camp... I realized that expectations and standards are awesome.. because I'm not going to date any fella... I want to find someone who shares my love of serving, and is driven with what he wants in life.Till then, I'm going to keep on bettering myself so that whoever I meet can see how can I shine. Well I'll be back later with some more random-ness...

nervous!

This nervous ness, and excitEment is keeping me up! Or maybe its that extra shot of expresso, I asked for lol. Well, tmr is here.. And I will be heading out for cap 1 I am so nervous! I honestly don't know what to expect. My teammates and I finally communicated a little... It only took two days before camp... Lol. I hope I'll be able to bring some of the things I learneD this year as a hiep si cap 2... Bahhhh. Let's see what else... I'm a bit bummed at the fact that I won't be able to attend kic our church lock in. It sounds so awesome!! I'll def say a little prayer for the crew and everyone attending this weekend! Hopefully, the kids can get in touch and "Kic" it with jesus:) oh! There is a chance I might get a position as a pharmacy tech! A friend of mine is moving to a diff location, and so his spot is open... He called to let me know and itd be totally awesome! I am not excited for this super long car ride... But I'm sure it'll be fun! And our campsite loooks super nice! Haha I feel bad for campers last year who attended the one in michigan lol well I don't know what else to say except... I am so pumped to do this! Let's do this ! God is good! All the time!!! All the time! God is good!!!

So much too do... so little time...

Missouri was tons of fun. Despite the heat... I got to hang with my friends, and family.. it was awesome.Probably my fave year ever! He text me all weekend... and then I saw him Saturday for mass, we stood next to each other, and sat by each other during mass... it was really nice. I would fan him, and he would fan me.. and I don't know it was nice. I love our relationship.Talking to him makes my day, knowing he's has my back, and supporting me means a lot. I can tell him everything. Even when I don't tell him whats wrong... he knows. Damn him.. haha

Anyways, I leave for Kansas tmr! I am nervous, but excited! I'm not even done packing... blah... I'm excited!! I hope my teammates likes me. SIGH!! We have so much to do!

My birthday is coming up and gosh, I can't believe it. This year has been really rough for me, mentally and emotionally. But through it all, my friends have been so great. Especially, my church homies... its crazy. They love and care about me so much, and it makes me feel so loved! They are always there.. making sure im okay and I can't thank them enough.

Speaking of church... at MO, one of the priest knew who I was.. it was awesome! I have a rep! hahaha I would say I'm quite active in with my church. A lot of people know of me, or know who i am. It makes me feel really good. Every where, I go.. if my students see me they would run up and yell"HI CO KATHY!!", parents recognize me, and my gma old friends are always complimenting me on how great and pretty i am hehehe. My youth group leaders acknowledge how I am growing with my faith, and realizing how I enjoy serving others. All of these things, help boost my self esteem and give me the confidence to live my life TNTT style. I remember during mass, I was leading Father back to wear he sat, and I was walking through the crowd, few of the teen girls from my church were screaming 'kathy you rock!' hahah and i was like fist pumping my way back. I've been told various times that I am inspiration to my youths. I honestly, can't take any credit... because THEY are my inspiration to motivate myself in all positive ways. I have them to thank.. really. God is so good to me, and it's just something small that I can do. *sighh God is good :)

I need me some Vitamin D

It must be the lack of Vitamin D that we seem to be getting...
For these past few weeks, the cycle seems to ease up on me... I find myself in much a happier state, it has been real nice. My friends have even mentioned how much they see myself doing much better, and for that time being I really was. Things began to really look up, till Sunday. I rear ended a guy, on accident... it wasn't big, minor scratches and two holes...i got yelled at and basically all hell broke loose.

Trying to think positive is hard, especially when the atmosphere limits you to do so. But you deal, and things turn out. God will take care of me... I just need to continue to trust in him.

I leave for MO Friday morning, I was pretty excited... but now, it's just blah. I'm looking forward to doing some serious praying. I'm going to take advantage of this time, and dedicate to Mother Mary, and Jesus. Despite all that has happened, I owe my life to them... I return Sunday, and then the following week I am off to Kansas for Camp Training. I'm excited, but nervous. But Im going to go in with an open mind... so, we will see.

Last weekend, I got to do Love- N- Share, a non profit organization founded by my friend's mom. I like to think I'm a very observant person, I observe others, and who they are, and there personalities. All weekend, I really got to open up to my youth group leader, and connect with her on a personal level. It was really nice, as we sat down and spoke about our dreams and aspirations I got hit with reality all over again... I use to contemplate about my future work for the money? Or do something I know I'm good at? Hm... obviously the good outweighs the bad... if that is truly what God wants me to, then I'm going to do it. If i can serve him in anyway, then I shall. She brought up, that sometimes we are often afraid to leave our nest, and how we choose to stay in our comfort zone rather then soaring our wings... it made all that much sense. Life is great at home.. but what if I'm missing out on something else? I want to consider all the opportunities that come my way. ( Just a thought) The founder of Love N Share, is actually my mom's friend... she's a great lady. I truly admire her... and everything. Her daughter is my brother's friend, she's a really sweet girl... whom i think is trying to change herself for the better. HEr mom brought up some stories, and for that time... i could relate. I got to spend some time with her, and in some ways, I can see a lot of me in her. If thats true, I know this girl will grow up to be something great. Kinda ironic, when Tim left me, her bf broke up with her... I think deep down somewhere we knew and could really relate. Minus our age difference. I started to realize that if I don't want to dedicate my life just helping children, but to be able to touch the hearts of many youths in general. If I can, that would be a dream come true...

There's a lot of things, and certain people who really bother me, but then I think whatever. I have my own life to worry about... as far as the love life goes, for the most part I'm very content. Although, at times I find myself wishing I could have some of that affection or that guy's attention... but only time will tell. There's someone I have in mind, but he and I we are just I don't know.... we will see where life takes us I suppose.